Mom Escapes Crime & Drug-Ridden California

Being that Mom is a former Nevada resident, she was thrilled at the opportunity to return to where guns are legal, the land is wide open, and brothels serve guests warm beds and cold beer. Due to the promise of expensive land and high crime rates she took the treacherous van journey to California. The promise was fulfilled and she was living too much of the high life, she needed a break. She needed to return to the Silver State. The only rule is to leave your drugs at the border, and your "bad mouth your country" attitude. All that was needed was to pack your pistol and cowboy hat. No Starbucks or marijuana shops here, just miles and miles of open space, and a jackrabbit at every sagebrush. What follows is a chronicle of that return journey...

No hours upon hours of watching occupy protesters on TV. Just good old fashion book reading and dog napping.

A lack of abundant public land had affected her Annie Oakley aim, but we were able to revive it a little.

 No housing market crash here. Just cash on the barrel head, and it could be all yours! 

Mom was getting tired of tofu and all that fancy organic stuff back in Lodi. She was craving a good cow tongue from The Martin Hotel.

 Basque style.

Mom with a sigh of relief that she was going to get the cow tongue that she craved.

"I have waited for this my whole life!" 

One thing is for sure- we didn't send her home hungry.

She even had room for s'mores.

Look at her ninja-like focus as she tries not to burn the s'mores.

Yum :P

Why didn't they just stay here?

The hill that mom climbed.

There is still a use for worn-out underwear!

Seeing Mom take the reins and re-live the glory days was as rewarding as the view from the top of the mountain. She was able to break free from the hustle and bustle and go back to life at a slower pace. Here the only thing that matters is good company, and a great sunset. Like all good things it had to come to an end. With a refreshing cold morning she was ready to saddle that Greyhound and ride. Not much has changed in 150 years, the riders joining her that morning had the same tired look in their eyes that those that traveled in the covered wagons must have had. Hoping California would bring some relief ahead. Whether it did or not I couldn't say, but for me I am content with the dust and sage of cowboy country.

~E